crazy bitch

2007-08-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

now i am thinking if i want to have a private journal.
and one public one?

2007-05-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

i have left this blog behind!
=)

2007-05-18T05:30:00.001-07:00

wow.
cannot take it.
juz when i thought blogger cant work for me.
it has appeared to be fine again.
now i am comtemplating to shift or not!
wahhhhhhhh.

2007-05-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

i have officially moved.
to here
sorry for the change guys!

2007-05-13T19:11:00.000-07:00

i juz realised that.
blogger do nothave a problem when blogging from a desktop.
but it do has serious problem when it comes to lappy.
so..
since it has such problem.
i think i am still switching to wordpress or livejournal.
yeap.
sorry it will be awhile till i get my page up.
and yes.
i will let you guys noe when i officially move.

2007-05-10T10:08:00.001-07:00

i am blogging from my baby!
escalated!
woot woot woot.

i am so happy i can die.
hahahahahaa.

soon soon.

2007-05-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

lol.
so now i realised.
it's not that blogger refused to let me blog.
more like the lappy cant display the page.
lol.
so i think i might juz stick to blogger juz as yet.
not moving.
=)

so wad has been up with my life?
let's see.
last week was a horrid week.
coz i was still sick.
and it aint helping with the medicine.
i am feeling so sleepy and tired all the time.
boo!
skipped school.
and rather pointless to get an mc.
juz to get excused.
but yea.
still went to the doctor for the second time on friday.
i am praying that i will get well soon.
i've been sick since dunno when.
and seen the doctor twice alr.
keeping myself away from cold drinks in such a hot weather.
hey.
i think i really deserved getting well.
=)

and so.
i watched spidey3 the second time on sunday.
after the mini celebration.
=)
jem jem brought me to watch it.
i made him wait for me lah.
as usual.
and he forced the fries into my bag.
thanks lah.
he is such an idiot.
but that poor boy is sick now.
hopefully he get well soon.
and pls remember out pact.
you are not allowed to come school, bike, go out or anything for that matter.
you are supposed to rest!
i noe you read my blog.
so you better watch it.
=P

the mini celebration was good.
ah gong was so cute.
he likes to high five with me.
and he often ask us to go more often.
damn cute lah.
and it was also mini mother's day celebration.
so we had two cakes.
mango and choc.
yummilicious.
photos later.
with sissy man.

and yea.
i decided to break myself from work for awhile.
since i haven been well.
and mummy and daddy making noise bout me not resting enuff.
thought i should make them stop worrying bout me for awhile.
so i am working only the weekends this week.

but....
i am ANGRY!
on friday i am supposed to do closing with mabel.
and i recieved a call ytd.
they said that they might her to end work at 1130pm.
while last order is at 1145.
and closing of both counter should be done by me?
what the hell can.
not like mabel asked to go off.
nor is she working morning the next day.
if she have smth on, i would be glad to help her,
but...
not the case.
i am soooo angry.
if dat really happeens.
i am juz gonna walk away.
or you can pay me double.

i need a new job!
=X

okie.
enough of blabbering nonsense.
=)

2007-05-02T10:06:00.001-07:00

gentle reminder to faz.
hello woman!
add me pls!

2007-05-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

i am super retard.
and these are the things you would expect to see in camp man!
wad i have on my head.
my crown!
ha.

i missed camps.
i missed the people i have fun in camp.
tsk!

first programme meeting coming up.
yay-ness.
week zero outing too.
yayness.
cant wait.

2007-04-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

ah haaaa.
i went out with my botak boys on sat.
yay-ness.
been such a long time since i went to town on sat nite.
and no..
i dun like it at all.
coz it's still so packed.
as usual.
boo-ed!
anyway.
pictures.
and captions to irritate the boys.
=)

kang.
looking depressed.
where has my hair gone.
i missed my hair.

clar.
gen juz have to take pictures of me when i am tired.
but i still love her anyway. ( i juz noe he do lah. blame my huge ego.)

dun ask why we are acting like that.
juz look at the time!
time check: nearing 11.
oh no wonder.
it's LIGHTS OFF!
whahahahahahaha.

and of coz.

it leaves me and faz being really bored.

so we cam-whored.

lol.

it got to a stage that faz got really bored.

and did this.

tsk.

i love my friends!

2007-04-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

ha,
i noe i damn random.
but look at the number of people viewed me this mth.
i am having a competition with my sister.
i haven check hers.
should do a rain check soon.
=)

okie.
so maybe my fears are unfound.
month of may is coming soon.
but maybe not how or wad i expects it to be.
out of the blue.
i couldnt reach him.
could he be lying in hospital?
i really have no clue.
at all.
so if anything shud happen.
it will.
but i am worried.
is he okie at all.
so pls.
if you do read,
give me a text alrite?

caught spidey 3 ytd.
thanks to fei.
i got to watch the GALA preview.
it's really good.
almost a 2hrs show.
something worth watching.
so i wun mind a second time.
=)

my botak boys are out this weekend.
and i am going to dine with them.
cant wait lah.
i am gonna rub their heads.
ha.

i start to feel that efforts made in the past for things that we tired so hard for,
are really in vain.
what am i waiting for?
circles of lies.
and moments of truth to be told.
i am picking up the pieces.
moving on without any of it.

on a happier note.
my baby is arriving in 10days.
soon to be revealed.

and last but not least.
the people i have to mention
*qiujin and marc
*terence
*mick
*ying ping
*my engine programmers
karen
sharon
huizhen
fion
alvina
jerlyn
deming
baofa
pang
diana
zul
june
koh
ting swee
mas
huanwei
weiming
christopher
hui hui
jerome

*jolene mok all the way from aussie
for their sweet greetings.

my programmers are really sweet people.
after they knew that the day before was my birthday.
the sang me a song while walking out of the school.
got a cake for me.
and surprised me.
damn nice rite.

i love program!

and i love all my people around me!
=)

2007-04-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

first day of year 2?
absent.
went to see a doctor.
cough every single nite.
i could hardly sleep.
boo.
=(
lousy body.
lousy immune system.
blah.
oh well.

start of year 2.
new rules to set to myself.
no more skipping of lectures.
pay more attention in class.
steer clear of sub paper hall.
be early for class.
ehhhh.
yea.
should be bout all.
but of coz.
time table still sucks somehow.
foresee that i am in a mixture of class agn.
but it's okie.
i get to noe more people.
day two.
shud not be late.
gotta go slp..
=)

2007-04-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

i am back from tp island.
yes.
been there since tuesday.
and i am home.
i miss my bed.
4 nites on concrete floor is no joke kae.
heh.
oh well.
i really miss my bed.
so i want to go to bed.
will update when i get the pictures from the rest.
i love my programmers.
i love tp.
most importantly.
i love engine!!!!
engine has won the war!

2007-04-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

many thanks to
*fazzie
*clarence
*kang
*syafiq
*pammie
*mabel
*clar
*yujin
*von
*angela
*wing man
*xueling
*mingxue
*kenneth
*nique
*hazel
*aunt michelle
*aunt melissa
*yong yee
*zhen yee
*seannie
*mars
*karen
*alvina
*huizhen
*sheena tong
*vanessa
*hui bin and xiang long
*jian hao
*jem jem
*yong quan
*kelvin
*phil
*timothy
*jill
*jason boo
*jin
*jeremy
*lucas
*ernest
*daniel ye
*wei liang
*shichong
*edwin wu
*yiwen
*adolphus
*winnie
*wen hui
*lai hock
*sabi
*izyan
*christina
*debra
*ting yi
*zheng sheng
*jia xiong
*divya
*ming
*ruey
*jia liang
*gret, sissy

and all those that i might have forgot.
which i dun think i might left anybody out.
thank you for the well wishes.
i appreciate them all.
love you guys.
=)

pictures soon.
now.
getting on to week zero!

2007-04-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

as much as you think that this picture looks funnie.
it was the best shot me and kang had.

i pleaded with fazzie for the shot. and kang is still reluctant.
=(

the joy of talking to kang.
i am going to miss it for awhile now.

i said i would miss his hair.
and guess wad he did?

he said the same thing.
he'd miss my hair and smacking my head.

i am juz gonna be ready even when the rest are not..

when "girlfriend" tires to eat prata with clar.
he vomits.

awesomw shot with the man.

i think this pic looks good if kang din block my face.

boo!

i will miss his hair too.

clar is being nonsensical.

he thinks he look better when he's serious.

kang doing wad he does best.

i have the sweetest fren ever.

clar called me from camp.

so cute rite.

we spoke for like twenty mins.

he said he called his mum.

den no one else to call.

dat's why call me.

ass rite.

well,

thank god for my huge ego.

or elseeee...

i would have long commited sucide becoz of the FCK.

lol.

some part of the conversion.

clar: ehh. i saw kang! he is in *** company. i am in leopard.

me: really? that's so cool. how bout the rest?

clar: ohh.. i saw them too. in some company near me. ehhh. kang looks fit with his hair rite. now arh.. he looks rounder.

me: hahahahaha. are u for real?

there you go.

fact of the day?

kang looks rounder now.

heh.

and the *** means.

i cant rememeber the company name.

clar's coming out on the 26th.

and kang on the 27th.

my botak boys..

awwwww.

okie.

am off to bed.

hoped u guys enjoyed the pictures.

2007-04-09T12:25:00.000-07:00

last teen birthday in 6 days.
lol.
i have a very cute brother.
i chopped my fringe off.
and he says i look like a secondary school kid.
den he say that his heart would ache if he was me.
how cute rite..

and yes.
i cut it all the way to where my brows is.
short huh.
and no.
i dun feel the pinch.
thank god it turned out well.
or i'll kill myself.
lol.

for many who are wondering why am i home?
simple.
was ill this morning when i wanna go for FO.
but...
i am still going for FOC.
so from thursday.
bye bye dudes.

actually.
i have nth much to say now.
i will be back.

2007-04-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

this is wad u do when you're boreeeed.
=)
repost- from friendster.

this test is gonna say how old i am gonna get marry.

[x] know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] I keep track of dates using acalender.
[x] I own more than one credit/debitcard.
[ ] I know how to change the oil in mycar.
[ ] I do my own laundry.
[ ] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself
[ ] I think politics are exciting.
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
total: 4

[ ] I show up for school/college/workevery day early.
[ ] I always carry a pen in mypocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[ ] I have never smoked a cigarette
[x] I have never gotten completelytrashed.
[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday atleast once.
[ ] I like to take walks by myself.
[ ] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what 'credibility' meanswithout looking it up.
[ ] I drink coffee at least once aweek.
total: 2

[x]I know how to do the dishes.
[x] I can count to 10 in anotherlanguage
[x] When I say I'm going to dosomething I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh withoutbeing stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[ ] I study when I have to.
[x] I pay attention at school/college.
[x] I remember to feed my pets.
total: 8

[x] can spell 'experience' withoutlooking it up
[x]I work out on a regular basis.
[x]I clean up my own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me byname.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is takeout.
[x] I have gained weight sincemiddle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake upis get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store withoutgetting something I don't need.
[] I understand political jokes thefirst time they are said.
[x] I can type quickly.
total: 6

[x] I have realized that the weatherforecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my placeof employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party.
[ ] I have realized that no one willtake you seriously unless you are overthe age of 25 and have a job.
[ x] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All my friends are older than I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out allnight.
[ ] I use the internet every day.
[] My wardrobe hasn't changed in awhile.
[x] I can read a book and actuallyfinish it.
total: 4

Overall: 24

oh my god.
if this is for real.
i am getting marry in 5 yrs time.
you are kidding me.

2007-04-08T02:47:00.000-07:00

yea.
i am going for camp for the next one week.
and so are others.
that i had tonnes of fun with.

i noe of..
clarence.
kang.
alvic.
edmund.
peng rend.
edwin neo.

and counting.
man.
i will miss such people lah.

they are gonna serve the nation!
coz they are gonna be a man and they are gonna do the rite thing.

hey boys.
i juz want to tell you guys.
though the few of you wun read my blog.
but yea.

i am so proud of you guys.
and time passes really fast.
i cant imagine when i see you guys on the street after your confindment and see you peeps botak.
this is gonna be so fun.
at the same time.
endure the times, i noe you guys can make it through.

and yes...
i would remember that you guys are not going jail lah.

2007-04-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

and so.
i am back from mtc!
i love my programmers.
intially,
i was quite afraid lah.
coz i barely knew anyone.
and it was pretty much scary.
but after three days.
it's not that bad after all.
they are very very fun people.
i cant wait for week zero.
when i get to hang out with them again.
it would be so much fun and so much laughter.

it would be FOC/FOW next week.
one down and two more to go.
will be back for more updates.
am juz so tired now.
*yawn*

2007-04-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

in less than 24hrs.
my camp craze is starting.
tomolo would be mtc.
it means mentor training camp.
i am not gonna be mentor.
but the programmer of the camp.

next week.
if would be FOC/FOW.
i would be a GL.

den, it would be WEEK ZERO.
also a programmer of the camp.

at the end of these camps.
i would be voiceless.
ha.

the best thing is...
in between camps, somehow..
dunno why..
they left my birthday out.
so meaning..
i wun have to go back to camp during my bday.
so funnie rite.

19th bday.
nothing special.
nothing big.
not like i have something big to look forward to.
but still.
i am always excited over birthdays.
there is still a little part of me looking forward to my bday.

it would be back to school after week zero.
there's my april for you.

i juz dun understand why.
not like it mean something big to me.
but it's that attitude that gets me pissed.
hello.
it's basic respect.
i am toking to you nicely.
why is it that u juz cant do the same.
f*** you.
i was wrong.

mabel, von and myself made a pact.
which i think might work out quite well i supposed.

maybe i really lost touch of how is it like.
maybe it's just the forgotten feeling.
maybe it's all juz me.

my mind goes manipulated.
my actions made contridicted.
my soul left stranded.

at times,
i know.
i juz cant make it on my own.
it juz aint easy.
i shud start re-evaluating everything again.

2007-03-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

when two idiots decides to go ikea.
=)

insomia nites leads to.
nuggetting in mac, followed by cam whoring.

liquors makes u insane.
too much of it.
give u colour of a red lobster.
mind of a insane.
and not forgetting.
face of a puffy fish.

dat's all for you folks.

2007-03-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes.
i wished i never know.
i am a emotionally burderned people.
now that i noe certain stuff.
and never be allowed to say it out.
i dun like the feeling.
why me?
why shud it be me that has to keep and to hold?
i really wished u never say it's me.

on a happier note.
MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING.
i am always thick skinned when it comes to birthday.
lol.
who isnt?

okie.
maybe not all.
but i am sure i am not alone.

it gives me all the rites in the world to say that...
i WANT.
*a bigger version of crumpler bag.
*a lappy
*err..
actually. i haven given it much serious tots.
which i think i shud soon.
ha.
=)

camp's coming up.
and i am turning sick.
dang this feeling man.

for all the people out there.
i have a question.
why is it that kissing on the forehead means much more than those on the cheeks or lips?

2007-03-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

i am glad to noe i would love to hate 2008.
yes. i would.

2007-03-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

now boy.
dun let that ego and pride gets in your way.

treat a lady like a lady.
she might hang out and behaves like a guy.
but hey.
she feels like a real woman.

watch wad ya say.
watch wad ya do.
she hates the 'sorry-s' u admit behind the world.
juz to prove that u aint whipped.

limitation to all that nonsense there.
you dun want to step on that tail.
do you?

little advice to you boys out there.

take a min to think it over.

2007-03-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

okie.
i am back with entry.
i have been a good girl.
seriously.
i was home since like 5 plus yesterday.
and today.
i was home since like 7plus.
see.
sucha a homie girl.
ha.

so i really had some random thoughts today.
and it's not juz things that you could forget the next day.
long and deep thoughts.

good things really come to an end.
dun they?
so many things in life,
been through, done that...

den..
when it's over.
it gets you thinking back.
was it worth all the time and effort then?

lots of flashback i had in my head.
it really gets me thinking.
people go through so much to get themselves into more trouble.
tsk.

but watever the case.
i am cynical about how things are going to go from here.
i lose confident at certain things.
i dunno if i could be up to it if i were to start it all over again.

i will be back with more thoughts soon.
watching teeeeveeeeee.
heh.

2007-03-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

hello hello hello.
many loves people.
i noe i haven been updating.
that's why.
i am back here now.
to update u on my life and my tots.
yay!

it's the supp paper way.
and it's not doubt that i am taking supp paper again.
i really wonder if there would be a day when i dun needa take supp anymore.
tsk.
and it scares me that i am moving on to year two alr.
HEY!
i am soon no longer a freshies.
oh my.
time flies.
soon to be year 3 and den i i'd grad.
maybe not really yr 3.
but the point is...
i'd soon graduate.
and it really makes one wonder...
wad am i gonna do after that?
should really have some serious thinking about it soon.

so...
it's the sub paper week.
and i had to like give my kelvon chalet a miss..
coz i have like papers on the days that they are there.
i am so sorry kelvon.
i wanna be there so much lah.
damn.
i hate school sometimes.

okie.
so i have been hanging out late.
and really juz slacking my ass off.
worked as well.
equal fun and equal work.
yes..
ha.

short entry.
coz..
i forgot wad i wanna say agn.
later..

2007-03-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

music and lyrics is a must watch.
off to bed.
meeting tml.

2007-03-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

when you are a kid,
you wished you were an teenager.

when you are a teenager,
you wished you were an adult.

when you are an adult,
you wished you were a teen.

things human do to contradicts themselves.

2007-03-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

i am so gonna say wad i did yesterday.
it's sucha embrassement.
but who cares.
it's wad i got at the end of the day.

i......
went aunite shopping yesterday!
lol!

okie.
my fetch for the day.
short-$5
top and a belt-$20
wedge-$14
a pouch-$8
genevieve- in bliss.
lol.
very happening can.
i spent less than $50 for so little things.
tra la la la la.

i haven even got my pay.
and i am like already spending.
not to forget.
i got myself another top from pull and bear.
hahahahahahahahahha.
i am like so happy can.

my holidays is damn packed up alr.
ha.
and hopefully.
when i goes to camp,
i am able to save money.
coz i really would be spending a lot of time in school.
i bet i wun have time to spend the money outside.
unless i go crazy shopping..
whoosh...

and oh yes...
gentle reminder for all.
genevieve is turning 19 this april.
on the 16!!!
ahem.
ahem.
ahem.
get the hint.
i noe u people are smart ppl.
ha.

okie.
i need to go school for meeting tomolo.
FOC/FOW..
it's coming!
how exciting.
oh my oh my.

2007-03-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

i want my flyer girl job!
but even if i dun,
i am gonna leave cartel.

for the times that i have been there.
since october 2004.
i had so much laughters, so much tears.
being there,
seeing so many come and go.
getting angry with the managers.
or sleeping in there after every single party.
i will miss it there.
no one shud work for a place for too long.
things are getting very terrible.
i cant hold another day in there.
this might be my last week.
i am sorry i have to go.
actually,
i meant the staff.
not to my boss.
and yes.
i do need to leave fnb line.

cartel loves that makes a difference.

mabel
jolene
wingman
angela
aishah
xueling
von
mitch
mick
adrian

i would really missed the times i had fun with you guys.
in counter.
or juz running the floor.
this frenship never ends.
even as we are all moving on.
i am glad i got the job there.
to have noe you guys.
to many years of frenship..

i hearts you guys loads!

2007-03-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

i am sorry for the delays of a lot of entries.
as much as i wanna blog.
my brain juz told me to rest.

well u see.
i have been working 3days straight of full shift since friday.
yea.
and i survived it.
so i really dun have the extra time nor energy to blog.
juz so dead tired after work everyday.

okie.
enuff about that.
i wanna blog about so much stuff.
but i guessed all that doesnt really matter now.

the biggest issue now would be aisha's one.
well,
she stormed out of cartel today.
and i guessed it's really her last day around.
tsk.
it's horrible i tell you.
the boss has no idea how to treat his staff rite.
who can really stand working for him?
if one day,
his business fails,
he only have himself to blame.
i am serious.
he doesnt really care about the welfare of others.
we shall see wad will happen if we all leave together.
it's time we all shud move on.

anyway.
dat aside.
YVONNE LIM.
not as though i would complain if i dun mention on your blog okie.
u dun even remember how to spell my name.
asssssssssssssssssssssssss.

lol.
i am meeting chicken and jackson on wed!
yay.
i am meeting faz too lah.
but i saw her juz last week.
soooo.
lol.
get where i am going?
i am so gonna get killed by her.
ha.
anyway.
am going for a bbq now.
happy bday kenneth!

2007-03-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

okie people.
i am working my ass off.
so it means less entries.
and less entertainment for you guys.

ha.
i have to lah.
april i have a lotsa camps.
so i dun think i can work a lot.
otherwise mth of may.
i can eat grass.
i am serious.
like my cows.
ha.

i am retarded.
i promised to be back with more entries.
ha.

2007-03-05T10:36:00.000-08:00

happy bday miss sum!
sweet 20th.
lovely surpise from your girlfriend.
i hope u enjoy your day!
plenty of love!

2007-03-03T14:21:00.001-08:00

i hearts my clar.
happy 20th bday.
the pictures will be up soon!
=))

2007-03-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

new addition

there came a male cow one fine day.
it's name was moo.

moo met moo on another fine day.
and this moo was a female cow.

together,

they are my new addition.

called moo moo.

so adorable rite?

why wouldnt i dare to wear them out?

ha.

yes.

i am a kid.

wad are u gonna do about it.

I AM A KID AT HEART.

and i make monkey faces.
ha.
love me or love me more.
lalalalalallala.

2007-03-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

i am better now.
i thought about it.
getting angry with a issue doesnt make things better.
why not juz take it in my stride?
i noe i am capable.

i juz sent my application to the Zoo.
yes.
u heard me rite.
the ZOO!
but noooo.
not as zoo keeper.
but some guest relation officer..
i am hoping i can get the job.
*cross fingers*

i realised that i really like someone who can hold a good conversation these days.
okie.
trust me.
it get irritating when...

me: what's for dinner tonite?
boring soul: eh. anything.
me: okie. how was ur day? good?
boring soul: okie lo
me: fine. wad are u gonna do tml.
boring soul: see lo.

i tell u.
i have intense dislike for such person.
really.
ha.
i noe i am mean.
but whatever.
i am serious.
okie.
never mind that.
i am gone.
=)

2007-02-26T08:01:00.001-08:00

i just dun geddit.
why am i getting the blame?
why am i labelled stupid, labelled silly?
do anyone else cares about how i feel than the people around me?
i look fine.
but am i fine?
u are pushing all the blame to me?
why is it that wad i did was wrong?
i cant say,
so what more can i do?
to guard to protect.
what is wrong with that?
wad is expected of me?
i may not be capable of wad u think may have happened.
but all i am asking is,
dun point fingers after the incident.
why do adults always think they are wrong?
how is it that the problem is gonna solve when u wanna resort to wad u wanna do?

it really upsets me.
do u noe it hurts when u're always saying u are sucidal?
i try hard to talk to you. i want to talk to you.
but does my words prick u?
or my actions irritate u so bad?
and when things goes wrong. u scream and shout.
it hurts really bad. why is it that it's not okie between u and her?
and wad good is it when all the aunts is asking u to do the otherwise?
they are not you.

i admit that,
we din grow up together.
i noe u regret that the most.
how i wish i could tell that all to you.
but each time i see you, all these juz disappears.
i love to tell you every morning that i love you.
i love to tell you every morning that i am praying for you.
but why are words so hard to come out of my mouth?
i see u grow thinner everyday.
i hear u crying.
i feel your heartbreak.
but i juz dunno why i cant walk up to you to give u a hug.
i noe i have been a terrible daughter.
i may hate it when u say u wanna die,
but it scares me more if u are not around.
is this really breaking down?
i dunno wad else can i do to make u feel better.
i am not a brainy kid, that would make u proud.
i maybe damn rude to you at times,
but i hope u noe i dun mean it.
i may not wear the clothes u buy, but i treasure every single piece.
things that i wanna do with you so bad.
juz normal.
but never did.

deep down
i noe u love us a lot. a lot.
and u are feeling sorry.
very sorry.
that i have to work and study at the same time.
it's painful for you.
but i am fine with it.
i am not afraid of hardship. if it gives u less burden, why not?
i am young.
i noe i am capable.
for all the wounds and cuts i have.
i can only blame that i am clumpsy.
useless enough to keep those away to make u less worried.

I JUST

dun wanna think about it.
dun wanna talk about it.
juz so sick about it.

2007-02-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

2007-02-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

stop your steps.
back to reality.
and realised...
this is all fairytale dreams.

2007-02-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

lol.
so u realised.
my previous post has nth gotta to do with cny.
i am sorry lah.
i mean.
cny.
damn routine every year can.
first day.
temple.
den gramps place.
wad is new?
lol.
den u get a few red packets.
full shop.
gamble, gamble and more gamble.
ha.
the only legal time to do it.
blah.
alrite.
update soon.
pictures at zouk.
ta people..
and perhaps when 2007 din start off quite well.
i am hoping that the pig year would be a better one.
lol.

2007-02-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

alrite.
juz this picture before i update u on the others.
any idea how i got this stupid cut?
lol.
u would never guess.

i was trying to adjust the fan the other day.
my finger got caught in the gap instead.
it iterally stopped the fan.
and the speed was at the max.
how smart rite.
ha.

I shouldn't love you,
but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you,
but I can't move.
I can't look away.
I shouldn't love you,
but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you,
but I can't move.
I can't look away.
And I don't know,
how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
I just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
It's getting hard to,
be around you.
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way.
And I don't know,
how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know.
This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
Just gotta say it all before I go. (Just so you know)
This emptiness is killing me,
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long.
Looking back I realize,
it was always there,
just never spoken.
I'm waiting here,
been waiting here.
Just so you know,
this feeling's take control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
Just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
(Whoa,
Just so you know,
Whoa,
Thought you should know.)
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
Just gotta say it all before I go,
just so you know.
Just so you know.

and yet.
i found another emo lyrics.
it's jesse McCartney song.
Just so you know

i was expressing wad i felt then.
but i supposed.
i shud really move on now.
it's bout time.

i aint afraid of letting my feelings go.
or even show.
coz i noe.
it doesnt matter.
even if it does to you, it's just for show.

i had a choice.
to let it go.
or to be that fool waiting for a fruitless outcome.
i was that fool then.
but i am learning to be a smarter one to let it go.
u cant be that selfish.
you jolly well knew wad u wanna a long time ago.
but you are juz being plain selfish.
you held on to wad u think was best for you.
u wanna the best of both worlds.
by now,
you shud noe.
i am done waiting for you to come arnd.
it was the final decision when i noe u are blissfully in love.
i noe i am rite for once.

i am moving to a new phrase in life.
meeting new people.
taking my own life more seriously.
i need to care more for myself.
to be less cruel to myself.
i need it.

and finally.
just so you noe.

2007-02-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

whooooooaaa hooooooooooo.
i am back.....................................!
anyone missed me?
anyone missed me?
anyone missed me?
anyone missed me?
anyone missed me?

lol.
dang.
aint i high?
hahahahahhahahahahahahaa.

i'll be BACK for more updates.
off to work now.

2007-02-15T23:51:00.000-08:00

student council family day 2007.
these are the reason why i choose to go back all the time.
=)

they are my peicai idiots.
people missing in pic?
.sean

i heart them many many.

vday

2007-02-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

i am back!
only a day of not blogging. someone complained alr.
lol.

this really cute toy that i had.
i dunno wad is it called.
lol.
but it's damn cute.

the heart shaped ballon from mabel.
and also rocher from alyssa.
that girl is damn sweet.
she made it for everyone.
thanks babe.

my timeout choc from kelvin.

he's damn funny.

gave me choc after i sweat out at squash.

lol.

wad the hell rite?

ikea complimentry gift.

chocolates for ladies only!

sorry boys.

they aint biased.

maybe the girls juz deserve more.

lol.

my morning shock.

it was sent to my doorstep.

recieved it with my hair messed up.

and me without brushing my teeth.

thanks arh.

i throwed my face away alr.

lol.

i met the gang at cartel at bout 1030.

i slept throughout the day.

too shag out.

was playing squash in the morning.

it was damn fun.

i made him run all over the court.

i tortured him in a way.

lol.

i should play squash more.

yay!

body ache like crazy.

too long never exercise.

lol.

PAIN!

so after meeting the gang. we exchanged gifts.

and stuff like that.

hang out. den chill awhile.

went over to angela's hse to slack more.

watched she's the man.

i sweared i will melt.

duke is so damn cute!

lol.

awwwww...

got home at four am and slept all the way till late.

lol.

got out.

get out of hse,

and...

had dinner with **** today.

not sure if he wants to be mention on my blog.

so play safe.

dun mention names first.

damn funny can.

i make him go shopping with me after that.

walked all over the place lah.

lol.

all crappy and shit like that.

i will try to be more lady like.

i hoped.

*luffs with mouth covered*

lol.

and that concludes.

2007 valentine's and post valentine's day!

2007-02-12T16:59:00.000-08:00

am in sch now.
supposed to start school at 8.
den decided not to go.
coz i am late.
stupid traffic.
lol.

maybe i really shud stop blaming the traffic and start getting my ass outta my bed earlier.
it's hard lah.
i dun have the willpower to do it.
damn lazy these days can.
i am not sleeping much.
sleeps really late and wakes up early for lesson.
and i do look like a panda in every sense rite now.
i cant wait for semester break.
i am serious.

have i mention my camp dates?
i have to go for a training camp on the 3rd to 5th of april.
freshmen orientation camp on the 9th to the 15th of april.
16th- genevieve's bday! no camp.
17th to 20th of april. engine school orientation.
weekend break.
den back to school.
lol.
i have no break in april.
and i driving myself crazy?
only break on my bday?
i think i am madd.
but it's good in some sense.
wun have to spend money.
really.
in school wad.
spend wad money?

how bout my holiday?
where's my trip?
actually,
2 and 1/2 mths is not very long lah.
have this huge feeling i am juz gonna waste it away.
lol.
how sure am i?
damn sure.

i am damn random now.
class is starting at 10 and i dread it.
coz java hates me.
and i hate java too.
lol.
and now.
i gtg.
for JAVA!= comprog class.
blah blah blah.
$$#^^%&%#

2007-02-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

can i post a emo lyrics plsss?
of coz i can.
SIAO.
lol.

hello boy it's been a while

guess you'll be glad to know

that i've learned how to laugh and smile

getting over was slow

they say old lovers can be good friends

but i never thought i'd really see you

i'd really see you again

i go crazy

when i look in your eyes

i still go crazy

no my heart just can't hold that feeling inside

way deep down inside

oh baby you know when i look in your eyes

i go crazy

you say she satisfies your mind

tells you all of her dreams

i know how much that means to you

i realize that i was blind

just when i thought i was over you

i see your face and it just ain't true

no it just ain't true

i go crazywhen i look in your eyes

i still go crazythat old flame comes aliveit's starts burning inside

way deep down inside

oh baby

you know when i look in your eyes i go crazy

i go crazy

you know when i look in your eyes

i go crazy

no my heart just can't hide

that old feeling inside

way deep down inside

i go crazy you know when i look in your eyes

i go crazy

crazy

nice rite.
lol.
it's emo song but it's damn damn nice.
but noooo.
i aint emo.
i juz like the song very very much...

see this?

yay!

i had my fav ovaltine today.

damn easy to make me happy! lol.

off to bed.

nites.

2007-02-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

and so i was away working for the past two days.
full shift on both sat and sun.
it's insane working hours.
like 730 in the morning till like into midnights.
so it calls for me to be crazy.
cant helped it.
it has always been me.
if i am tired.
i starts to be really crazy.

okie.
let me first show you my amazing discovery!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

and of coz my discovery made me drop jaw.
omg.
wad the hell is in my hand.
so bigg rite?

and it turns out to be...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

if u cant read the word.
it's O-N-I-O-N!.
a super huge one actually.
no no no.
i din waste the choco sauce.
mabel chan did.
lol.
and of coz i din write that either.

and of coz. i do love onion loads.
although it makes me fart.
whahahahahhahaha.
i am crazy.
ignore me.

yea.
enuff of crazy nonsense.
i dun like being tired.
coz i would feel emo this way.

late nite come home.
wishing that someone would be there waiting paitently.
only to realised and to experienced disappointment after disappointment.
without a msessage or a regard.
these are the things that makes the nite a regret.
no amount of words can make u recovery from it.
often, we delude oursleves that one nite,
eventually.
somethings that we are hoped for it to happen all along.
but deep down.
who are we kidding but ourselves?
it's always the foolish tots that we longed for.
wad is in front of us.
we never see.
or we choose not to see.
why is it that human are bulit this way?

i am tired.
very tired.
this cycle is taking a toll one me.
stop all these please.
i am choosing not to kid myself anymore.

and it ends tonite.

=)

2007-02-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

loves loves.
council family was fun.
yes it was.
damn funny day la.
the teh tarik was with alcohol.
yes.
as claimed by faz.
lol.
anyway,
fotos up soon.

the chalet.
the gathering.

2007-02-07T23:17:00.000-08:00

lab test
lab test
lab test.
i dread lab test!

2007-02-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

lol.
go ahead and luff.
more pictures coming up.
insanes one.
yeah.
u heard it riteeee.
lol.
good nite world.

2007-02-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

BAYBEES!
Tanaf has spoken.
he asked if we are free to crash his place on the 2nd day of CNY.
pls let me noe if you are interested.
spread the word.
6pm.
dinner-fast food.
no card games.
no red packet.
pls let me noe.
asap.
okie?

many many loves.

2007-02-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

i am sitting around in school.
waiting for time to pass.
as i am waiting for fei and clar to be ready.
actually i got things to do larh.
haven do only.
lol.
it's a surpised!

cant wait for tonite.
for a time to be crazy.
and it's juz hours away.
lol.
dang!

my morning was a good one.
although i screwed french up quite badly.
but nonetheless,
i woke up with a really sweet message.
and it has made my day.

someone told me that.
since, i have seen so many player come and go.
i should take them more lightly.
why should i be bother and waste my effort on stupid players.
to get upset and to wonder why are they this way.
it shouldnt have to be this way.
it shall not longer post an issue to me.
i guess.
like JT's song.
what goes around, comes around.
believe in karma people.
it really do happen.

countdown days to freedom?
21 days!
omfg!
it's freaking 21 days!
lol.
CNY is coming.
cant wait.
goodie, goodie, goodie.
fat genevieve.
fat..
arhh.
who cares.
i dun anymore.
okie.
maybe sometimes i do.
but whatever the case,
CNY one year once.
i want GOODIES!
yayness.

okie.
so i like dyed my hair last week.
other then the fact that it's more brown now.
you cant really see a diff.
i need to get hair cut too.
lalalala.
so many things to do again.
not forgetting to study!
blah!

i am so excited.
this friday is council family day.
= meet peicai idiots.
we are gonna spent the nite away.
pity those o level students.
getting their results on that day too.
lol.

okie.
i gtg run!

2007-02-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

ripped!

1. Single, taken or crushing?
crushing. =D

2. Are you happy with your life now?
with all my besties out there. why not?

3. When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
lol. i fall fast but i aint sure if he is rite.

4. Have you had your heart broken?
if i did loved, i have.

5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
no! cheating of love is not O-K-I-E!

6. Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats on you?
i would. coz it's his lose for cheating on me. =D

7. Have you talk to another person about marriage before?
lol. hell yea i did. i noe, it's retarded. since i am only 19 this year.

8. Do you want children?
yes. always wanted.

9. How many?
if i could. i would have 5! ha.

10. Would you consider adoption?
i'll never noe.

11. If someone likes you right now, and you have the same feeling for him/her will you accept?
yea. if i do, why not? duh?!

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
i enjoy the courtship more.

13. Do you break down for anyone before?
hell yes.

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
love is blind at first sight.

15. Are you romantic?
i longed for it. am hoping i am one.

16. Do you believe you can change someone?
never again.

17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
i want a beach wedding.

18. Do you easily give in when you're fighting?
sometimes. if i think it's my fault afterall. but hardly.

19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
yea. i think so.

20. Have you ever wish you could have someone but you messed it up?
maybe.

21. Have you broken a heart?
i guessed i did.

22. One day if your best friend fall in love with he/she that you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
i will not let such stuff affect our frenship. =)

23. Are you missing someone right now?
not juz rite now. all day long. =D

2007-02-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

this is a entry for all my loves out there.

.fazelah.
this biatch.
she makes me cry.
she makes me luff.
she makes me feel love.
she makes me everything that i am today.
sometimes we drift apart.
but we are never too far.
i do remember that she is in my life.
though sometimes,
i can be pretty bastard at not messaging her.
and she do gets very upset at it.
i am sorry babe.
i still love you very much.
i want you to noe it!

.clarence wong.
this boy here.
he never fails to turn me down when i want to go sakae sushi with me when i have the craving for it.
he may say that he hates my crap.
but he luff non stop when i am at it.
he likes to save on sms-es,
so he rather send me an email den sms.
lol.
i wonder if he will ever read this.
coz if he do.
i am sure to get slap by him again.
i still love u wong!

.kang.
this boy.
pretends not to care.
but actually he cares alot.
he listens to us gossip.
he keeps track of out life.
i often forget to include him.
but i dun anymore.
heh.
he reads my blog.
and act as though he dun.
lol.
so of coz,
you should noe.
i love you too.

.shah.
this boy.
he is here.
somewhere.
somehow.
we noe he is.
at least he bothers calling me.
and yes.
i do love u much!
u'll be okie!

.sean.
i hope you think we are still around.
we are juz one call away.
=)

.marcus.
i cant believed u baked a ginger bread man for me for xmas.
and i do noe that u treasure the frenship very very much.
so do i.
love u plenty.
dun worry,
i will msg u when we are hanging out.
juz reply me pls.

.daniel.
you are an idiot.
everything put aeroplane.
but the thing is.
you always pull it off by making us luff.
yes yes.
i love you all the same too.

.syafiq.
this boy.
i love you for giving me rides.
although you bet me to it to have a licencse.
but yea.
love you lah.
and i am always here if u need someone to tok to.

.junda.
he's in far away army.
i hate army.
but do meet us when we have gathering okie.
dun put aeroplane okie?
love u many many.

.quijin&kris.
i missed you babes.
the times that we always stay over and crapped.
or the times when we are juz girlie.
meet up soon alrite.
love you girls much!

more shout out coming up.
one by one lah.
bored you guys with shout out meh?

blogskin coming up too.

2007-02-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

something for you guys to luff at.

i bet everyone has at least read or experience the torture of having irritating kids having their handphone on during their ride home.
but wad u are gonna see today, is 10 times worse compare to those kids.

i was on board this bus on my ride home with a fren.
so we were like juz toking and crapping pretty much.
den this middle aged woman.

say bout mid 40?
she sat in front of us.
fine.
den she starting digging in her bag for something.
soon..
you hear noises of some telecast or smth.

first i thought it was the tv mobile.

but no..

when u listen closely,

and watch closely..
*

she's freaking using a radio walkman and listening to chinese news can.

everyone was staring at her.

but did it stopped her.

no.

she continued listening to it.

i juz started luffing real hard behind.

she's the ultimate man.

i can helped it but luff non stop.

whahahahaha.

damn funny can!?!

okie lah.

enuff of making fun of people.

yawn yawn.

bed time!

would anyone be sweet enuff to tuck me in?

2007-02-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

i hate you for your guts.
dun tell me anything.
you dun owe me a explanation.

i am not feeling well again.
so juz stop dissing me off.
it's hard to find anyone with sincerity these days.
period.

sometimes.
i wished these were still dat simple.

2007-01-31T09:29:00.000-08:00

and oh.
did i forget to add.
the farking air con is STILL spoilt.

i really hate it.

2007-01-31T09:05:00.000-08:00

i really hate to do this.
whining bout something that i used to enjoy so much.
and now it seems.
everyone has the same issue with wad i am gonna say.

fine.
so the stupid air con hasnt been working for the past dunno how many donkey days.
i bet it was last thursday.
i stepped into cartel.
first thing i realised was that it was freaking freaking warm in there.
so i asked wad happened?
awesome.
the stupid main air con broke down.
do u have any idea how freaking warm is it to be with hotplate, fridges, waffle machines and stoves to be around you when there is not air con?
it's fucking hot. i swear.
temp goes up to 30 degrees in there.
worse than the weather outside.
so whatever.
we had to bear with it.
do we look like we have a choice?

issue over.
air con spoilt.
nth we cud do till sat.
fine.
den on friday.
one of our main boss, mr x called our manager up.
he says that.
we are drinking openly in counter.
okie.
sounds pretty alrite.
since we shud not let the customer see us consuming food or drink.
but hello.
if u want us to get out of kitchen to drink.
do we look like we have the time to do it on a busy sat.
might as well ask us not to drink water and juz die of thirst.
normal days when the air con is fine. den maybe yes.
but now,
the air con is spoilt.
it's so hard not to drink water.
the ice melts away within five mins.
now, go figure how hot is that kitchen.
FARK!

okie.
so we listened.
and today.
guessed wad?
the entire outlet crew handphone got confiscated.
so for the whole time from 5 to 11.
my fone is not with me.
wad the fark rite?
what if i have something impt?
what if people need to contact me bad?
i am not a full timer.
meaning, i have another life to lead.
my school work might need me.
my family might need me.
my frens might need me.
and how do i noe if they were to freaking take my fone.

from something that i used to love so much.
from something that i used to yearn doing so much.
from something that i have tons of fun and laughters from.
now,
it's all reduced to nth but full of nonsense rules and shit regulations.

i seriously hate my job now.
fuck it larh.
i need a change of environment.
anybody wants me?

2007-01-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

late night, cold wind blow.
i love.
fellowship-ed, like there's no tommorrow.
i love.
listening to songs, being emo.
i love.

2007-01-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

blah.

i am back here.

skipped work today.

really too tired.

slept at 4am.

had class at 8am.

was late.

an hour late.

i took a cab okie.

but stupid jam cause me to be later than late.
)*#$*@)($*@#

not cheap hor.
$15 can?!

so fun toking to clar, kang and faz online.

lol.

making fun of clar and all.

i missed it all. seriously.

lol.

catch up okie people.

i love you people so much.. can?

thanks babe.

i love you for being there.

i love you for hearing me out.

i love you for being fazelah.

i was never gone.
i am always here.

just so to let you noe.

and juz to add on.

both faz and i realised that.

to begin a relationship.

we shud not really start off with frens.

as in..

yes. friends.

but not friends whereby those that can complete your sentence for you.

so close,

so much so that.

the relationship may get so stale.

coz u guys noe each other too well.

we rather, someone new.

to discover his or her likings or dislikes.

that is good to begin with.

isnt it?

i am giving thoughts about it.

it's either/or.

neither/nor.

whatever.

am meeting seng for breakfast tomolo.

yay!

hotcakes.

gonna catch some sleep now.

nites ppl.

2007-01-29T09:29:00.000-08:00

assignments waiting to be complete?
-french convo
-comprog
-ckt tutorials
-psps proj

but here i am.
updating you with nth but my juicy life.
lol.

i have finally met up with love, faz.
we had the crazy time of our life.
gossip-ed.
walked so much.
ate so much.
camwhored so much. *been awhile hor*
we had so much to tok.
realised that we really are similar in many ways again.
totally bimbo moments.
lol.
our dates?
shopping.
maybe genting.
getting the peicai idiots unite again.
oh well.
all so much.
and biatch.
the 50cents bet still stands.
lol.
i'm gonna be rich....

ha.
see.
she really has a idiotic face..

and it goes the same for me too.

this is why we are bestie.

lol.

heh.
anyway.
these are the only two i am putting up first.
soon..
it's coming.
*i got assignments, remember?*

awesome lyrics to share.
it's by the veronica.
speechless.

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worthed
With you it feels like I am finally home
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
'Cuz you leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender my everything to you
I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
You leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you
You leave me speechless (the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless (it's something that you do I can't explain)
I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby
You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless (the way you look at me)
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

pretty nice larr.

okie larr.
i really gtg now.
many many loves.
i will try to change my blog skin soooooon.

=)

2007-01-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

slept at 730 this morning.
got up again at 1230pm.
days when i dun sleep.
lol.

got a msg from clarence wong the other day.
the contents are juz funny.
oei.
mister,
if you are reading this.
be glad hor.
at least someone is willing to date you.
kao.
no one asked me yet can.
lol.

but it's fine.
i have ppl that i can hang out with.

am heading for work soon.
slack the whole of ytd.
had dinner with mummy and daddy.
today.
working my ass again lo.
otherwise.
any sugar daddy?
lol.

take care u peeps.
cant wait to meet faz.
with plenty of pictures taken.

promises

2007-01-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

okie people.

i noe i promised this long time ago.

and now.

it's finally up.

i am so sorry for the delay of the pictures.

but somehow,

dunno why.

i am determined to do it today.

feast for your eyes baby!

first up.
the pictures from cartel celebration.
on 22nd dec.
earlier date lah. =)

ms sum. i am looking flushed. becoz of the stupid chivas.
but ms sum looks fine.
coz she drank lime juice all nite long.
lol.

okie.
this is mitch.
she is acting like an idiot.
but still,
love larrr.
you noe i do.

qin kai.
the super attitube guy you can find when he is working sandwich counter.
i still remember wad he said to me last year.
he said if i was slimmer, he would consider me.
lol.
how one year has passed juz like that.
he's not longer at cartel.
but i missed him so.
qin kai, be nicer to me can?
i noe he would never read this post.
but hell.
be nice larrr.

mabel and jolene mok.

they were goofing around with my camera when i was gone for awhile.

lol.

look adorable.

dun they?

the girls i heart at cartel.

these are like the old birds of cartel.

with me the youngest.

xmas day itself.

was outside cartel.

dun ask me why there.

coz there lah.

we eat, sleep, dream cartel.

like we dunno?

lol.

stole this from jiayi HO!

from left:

jolene, myself and bel.

wing man abusing angela.

last:

bel,wing man, myself and jiayi HO!

p/s she thinks i am really irritating.

and she cant stand me.

lol.

yea.

you like wad u see?

the fireworks on nye.

beautiful, isn't it?

but...

before these.

we waited like 2 whole hours on the bum boat for it to start.

thank god it wasnt raining.

lol.

nice rite.

the picture turned out so well.-as if-

i am so proud of myself.

lol.

the next few picutures that u are about to view can be irritating.

coz within the two hours.

my brother and i resort to being camwhores.

more like i forced him into doing it.

the other pictures are with my uncle and cuzzie.

will try to get them soon.

lol.

yes.

i noe.

we act cute.

but hell.

it was TWO HOURS.

like hello.

we are bored can?

the merlion.

the Fullerton hotel.

nice larr.

if i have the cash.

i would book a room there.

the very first picture before we enter the bumboat.

i think this is all blogger can take.

it's kinda laggy alr.

other pictures.

real soon.

lol.

besides that.

impt dates coming up?

my date with FAZELAH. -stupid bitch. lol

valentine's day.

connie's bday.

CNY. longing for this day. more than ever.

final exams. dread it larr.

and

27 FEB after 430PM

my freedom begins.

it's the start of my 2 and 1/2 mths holiday.

hell ya!

awesome.

plenty of love people.

i am outta here.

i love you. you and you!

*grins*

2007-01-26T10:37:00.000-08:00

i still adore fazelah.
am so happy for u babe.
=)

2007-01-21T02:45:00.000-08:00

often people think of human's kind intention as pretence.
and always we do abuse and not appreciate the things they do for us.
wad has always been close to us.
we never wanna it.
or never bother to take a second look.
we search for things that are way beyond us.
going through the pain and trouble for something that holds no meaning and purpose.
we held on to our beliefs.
believing that it will eventually.. if u believe,
it will happen.
but truth to be?
beliefs are lies.
comforting words u tell yourself.
do u really thought that believing is fulfiling?
human nature.
tsk tsk.
always in doubts, questions and insecurity.
question,
now why and who do we live for?

random!

2007-01-20T12:07:00.000-08:00

this is total madness.
i noe it is.
yet it seems like it's real.
bad bad bad news.

2007-01-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

i literally sleep in the toliet on tuedays nite.
every hour of puking and diarrhoea.
i dun see a reason for me to be on the bed.
tsk tsk. seek a doctor's help ytd.
it's gastric flu.
might have got it from my brother.
it's a virus.
omg omg omg.
two days mc. screwed.
hell knows how much i gotta catch up when i return to school.
damn.
hate being ill.
if only pills taste like candy.

sleep debt.

2007-01-15T05:23:00.000-08:00

was watching tv mobile on my way home today.
heard of this thing call the sleep debt.
i owe my sleep lots of debt.
it occurs when i dun have 8 hrs of sleep each time.
then automatically.
i am in debt.
come to think of it.
perhaps.
i am alr in a huge debt.
although there are times when i sleep a lot.
the amount of time that i din not sleep enough is way much more than the times i slept througout the day.
tsk tsk.
gen gen.
wad a debt..

i am amazed by my own stupidity sometimes.
actually.
i think do all the time.
it's juz impossible for one to tell someone good advices.
and then do the same for themselves.
i am tired.
i am stopping to take a break.
and perhaps.
i would want to stop and maybe take a closer look at the picture.
i noe i can.
i should.
this is wad i ought to do.
nobody shud be with me in this together.
if i am tired of running,
i will walk for a min.

oh watever.

*i miss you loads.
why lead me on when you din intend for these to happened?
i just wanna hold you close to my heart.
and i guessed i was rite.
good things juz dun happen.*

projects projects and projects.
so many coming up.
too lazy to do.
exams is coming up.
but all i could think about is to get away from singapore.
damn.
wad an idiot.
i guessed it's juz the time of the year lah.
when everything is pretty much cocked up.

i am getting used to this lifestyle.
leading it everyday.
seems pretty much fine.
i really am not in a rush for anything to come my way.
take it in my own stride.
like all these doesnt matter anymore.
love
this word is no longer familiar to me.
i have it with my family.
my friends.
perhaps.
dat is all that matters.

i have ranted so much shit in a day.
i missed blogging.
i missed typing so much.
i missed saying so much.
i need a place juz to say so much so much.
but dun worry people.
i am fine.
me complaning..
doesnt mean that i am in much trouble.
noe.
woman...
they tends to whine and whine alot.
and that's wad i am doing now.

okie.
enuff of rubbish.
i am gonna do my project now.
SHUT UP!

2007-01-08T03:20:00.000-08:00

tra la la.
eh eh eh.
i am back eh.
comtemplating eh.
i feel like changing my blog add eh.
actually.
more like changing to livejournal.
pretty cool domain lah.
am thinking.
still thinking la.
i noe i would be like damn troublesome if i do...
dun worry.
i would drop the link if i do.

i want to go oversea.
i want to go on a trip.
somewhere away from the noisy city.
i want to have a getaway.
i dun mind being alone.
or maybe with a few frens.
but i do want to leave for juz awhile.

2007-01-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

irresponsible people.
so irritating.
hmph!

anyway.
sneak peaks on my entry.

what could gen be doing with clar, the siao char bo?
fei fei the ah pui pui?
and mabel, the marble chan?

and opps.
gen cant helped it but to cam whore a lil.

=))

signing out.

2007-01-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 2007 PEOPLE!!!
sorry lah.
am like 4days late.
but still...
happy new year.

it's a very normal new year countdown i had.
human traffic is a killer.
i cant stand it.
if choose how i rather have my countdown agn.
i would choose to do it at my place.
or someone's place.
it's a nitemare to be squeezing with the crowd.
but...
nonetheless.
i had a awesome time with my family this new year.

pictures again,
will be up later.
juz a short greeting.
nite my lovelies.

2006-12-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

mood: oh my god!

i cant cant cant fight this feeling.
oh my god.
oh my god.

wanna to mambo the nite away with mabel, clar, man, gina and co.
but damn.
zouk was so damn packed.
oh my god.
phuture was full house.
even girls was deny entry.
so watever.
we went over to mos.
at least we had some fun there.

i think xl is rite.
we all shud stop clubbing for awhile.
am starting to feel the boredom in clubbing.
hahaha.
hearing from me is weird rite.
yea...
am stopping.
yea yea..

am watching a korean drama called my girl now.
it makes u wanna luff and cry..
omg.
nuff said.
back to my show..

2006-12-26T12:16:00.000-08:00

i am backkkk.
from OTC!
yay yay.
my voice.
almost as sexy as ever.
lose my voice.
but am loving it.
KELVON totally ROCKS.
and we are like totally awsome.
hahahaha.
our bimbo cheer is like wanted at every station that we went to.
and yess.
we made a miracle.
you guys noe it.

met up with the usual peeps today.
hang out at prata.
den moved on to my place for dvd session.
tra la la la.
missed it.
am meeting up with heike and jackson tml too.
heh.
cant wait.

@$%#^$%^&%*^&
damn!
after getting my phone fixed at nokia,
it feels as though it hangs more often now.
so idiotic.
how i missed those big gong phone.
so much much better.
at least it doesnt hang that much.

contridicting rite.
how human want better things to only realised that they give more problem
than those that are so much more simple.
hahaha.
madness.
oh well.

and i dun like my retarded habit of not deleting message.
i swear i am damn troublesome.
haha.
my inbox is flooded.
like a thousand message agn.
crazy rite?

did i also mention that it doesn't feel like xmas this yr?
first,
the mood was like dead.
den...
when i got out of hse.
i realised.
it's not juz me.
it feels as though everywhere felt the same.
shrugs.
wad a xmas.
i am hoping NYE will be better.
okie.
nuff said.
time for some pictures.
the more recent ones.

xmas cele for cartel.

prom nite 2006.

after supper at katong.

things are juz some stuff i was up to.
but blogger damn slow.
will update soon.
heh.

2006-12-17T10:51:00.000-08:00

oh my dearest.
i never thought that you would be gone,
in other's arm.
far away from me in the long lonely nite.
i missed you so.
when are you coming back to me?
i really need you right by my side.
you are more than a friend and a companion to me.
to lose you is to lose my world.
i am so lost without.
to let you go is like letting my world go haywired.

oh my dearest beloved N70.
lying in nokia hospital....!

=(

2006-12-16T12:46:00.001-08:00

i hated it when blogger failed to pulished my post.
and i had to like typed it all out agn.
and this time.
i am going to typed out every single thing i remembered typing juz now.
and i really mean.
EVERYTHING.

nothing can be more terrible than the last 48hrs i had.
sinced last nite.
nobody.
and i really mean NOBODY has been able to contact me.
my sim card is ridiculously spolit when nothing has been done to me.
i am uncontacted at the moment.
till i bring it down to starhub tml.
so for last nite and the entire sat.
my fone was down.
dammit dammit dammit.
i feel so dettached from the world.

and when i thought things couldnt get any worse?
i was down with a terrible headache when i woke up this morning.
dragged myself to work.
popped three panadol extra.
got a little better.
thinking that things will brighten up..
i had to end up with a tummy-ache on my ride home.
and to only realised that i am having diahorrrea.
dammit dammit dammit.

to add.
i had this huge emotion outburst at work earlier.
i am sorry that mabel thought she was the one who made me cry.
i am sorry that i made you guys worried.
i am sorry that i've been so lousy.
but i am thankful that you guys were there.
i rather i let it all out when i feel like it den to still keep it down and make myself miserable.
i am gald.
i feel much better now.

i have finally found the reason to stop thinking.
i thanked you for the nite.
i thanked you for lying.
i thanked you for explaining.
i thanked you for replying.
i thaned you for being so plain stupid.
but i thanked you more.
coz i finally see.

clarissa's blogged about something and it gave me a way of explaing myself.
she mentioned bout expired date.

i once wondered the same for me if my expired date was coming to an end.
or do i even have an expired date.
i once wished that i have a expired date that wasn't in the near future.
or even hoped that it's for a lifetime.
but i guessed.
i am glad that i finally noe that i am stupid.
and that my expired date was long gone.
it was only me thinking that it wasnt.

i am seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
=)

on a lighter note.
i mambo-ed the nite away with
wing man-jolene-mabel-clarissa-gina-part time bartender,rickey-catherine-ricky's fren-desmond.
phuture-ed the nite away with
clarissa-and new found fren, PONG PONG hill.
these people never failed to make the nite colourful.

to lose some is to gain more.
i lost some tears.
and gain to noe that i am not alone in this world.
thank you all my loved ones.

from primary to secondary to colleague to poly to clubbing kakis and to people that i've known so far...

xmas is all about giving love.
give some love poeple.

2006-12-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

2006-12-13T14:10:00.000-08:00

it's been a week sinced i last blogged.
oh man.
has been the term test week lah.
cant helped it.
but now...
it's over!
whoosh.
holiday,
here i come.

had fun at zouk tonite.
awesome company.
awesome funny moments.

corrections for my OTC camp dates.
it's from the 21 to the 23 of dec.
sorry.
my bad people.

besides that..
1- meet yujin for her date.
2-bake my brownies.
3-pack my room (major)
4-meet faz and gang.
5-meet up with rangers.
6-continue with L word
7-i need tanning sessions.
8-get my ass to work more.
9- meeting mohawk for dinner.
10- there are juz more stuff at the back of my head.

omg omg omg.
i am only having 2 and 1/2 weeks of hols.
feels as though i have like 2 and 1/2 months of hols.
dang..

well.
i am juz gonna make it happen somehow.
blah blah blah.

on a lighter note.
people.
xmas is coming.
looking for special gifts?
do check out this webby alrite.
the stuffs there are really cute.
i swear...

click here for details:
you'll loved it when u see it.

alrighty.
all for now.
soon soon.
the pictures i promised.
=X

2006-12-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

whooo hoooooo.
one more week baby.
it's gonna be the term test..
whooo hooo.
den it would be two weeks break!

i got into GL too.
so i would be going for OTC camp on the 20 to 23 of dec.
hurr.
busy busy hols.
going for my basic too.
tra la la la..
seems like there are so much stuff going on for my hols.

spending a bit more time with family this year for xmas and new year's eve.
awesome.
hurr.
hmph.
my auntie got herself a 2nd generation ipod nano.
so jealous.
hmph hmph hmph.

sleepy...
i am going to bed now.
for the pictures that i've promised.
soon soon.
it will be up soon..
=))

2006-11-28T23:31:00.000-08:00

i dun like wad i hear..
it makes my heartache.

i did actually did want to buy the ipod mini alr.
like i alr made up my mind.
then,
now that the news is made know to me.
maybe the ipod wasnt that important anymore.

someone who watched me grow up is having such a hard time now.
but all i can do is to watch them suffer.
i hate myself for being so young.
i hate myself for not being able to do anything.
i hate myself for not being able to save.
i hate myself for every little things that i cant do
but juz watch and see.

i cant things better.
feel so helpless and all.
money.
money.
money.
what is money?
why is it sucha bother?
why is it that everyone troubling over it?

it's time i really have to think about making things better.

2006-11-27T04:46:00.000-08:00

this is my current single status.
my declaration of independence.
natasha bedingfield-single

i could have another you by tomorrow
so dont you ever for a second get to thinkin,
your irreplaceable
beyonce-irreplaceable

It’s just too little too late
A little too wrong and I can’t wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it’s just a little too late
You say you dream of my face but you don’t like me
You just like the chase
To be real it doesn’t matter anyway
You know it’s just too little too late
jojo-too little too late

it's good to hear your voice.
say my name.
it sounds so sweet.
coming from the lips of an angel.
and it makes me weak.
hinder-lips of an angel

who i am is not who i am with
jessica simpsons-i belong to me

ha.
random!

2006-11-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

pictures pictures.
hahaha.
they aint gonna be up yet.
there will be pictures from
*pris's birthday..
*prom pictures..
*shots from mos..

awaits....

2006-11-24T20:39:00.000-08:00

hitching a ride from shahrul.
it's like totally awesome.
anyway...
tertiary fling was totally awesome.
i swear it was.

but did i also mention that on thursday.
it was one of the worse day i had.
omg..
first i was so late for school when i am supposed to have a test.
i wasn't late becoz i overslept.
becoz of the stupid traffic..
i swear.
i went out of hse earlier then usual.
and it jams all the way till the end of old tamp road.
and i was half an hour late.
i swear i hate traffic.

so after the test.
i was leaving for another class.
i dunno if it was me or that i am really that suay.
my water bottle leak!
damn.
everything was wet in my bag..
and i mean everything..

and if it wasn't enuff.
my resistor had to burnt during my lab.
dang.
how bad can a day be?

oh well.
anyway.
it's over.
it cant be that that bad anymore.
hmph.

prom's today.
totally awesome!!
another day of fun.
woooosh..

2006-11-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

as slacking away in library now.
class ended early today.
i am so addicted to the song by jessica simpsons now.
i belong to me.
it's nice.
it says about wad a girl should be in a relationship.
that she shud belong to only herself and no trying to be someone else she cant be
that her boyfriend wanna her to be.
isnt that wad a girl should be like.
not changing anything and be so miserable for someone that she dun deserve?
i noe this sounds like a huge part of woman's ego.
but i guess we do have to be selfish sometimes.
oh well.
woman.
stand up for yourselves.

omg omg.
i wanna say something juz now.
but it juz slipped off my mind agn.
tsk tsk.
anyway.
i feel like a stalker.
hahaha.

2006-11-20T07:48:00.000-08:00

i think i am tired.
maybe there's why i am feeling kinda emo.
man..
there seems to be so many things that is a weightage in my head.
i juz dont feel too good.
no idea why.
such a chore..

the results of listening to too much emo songs i supposed.
man.

i am gonna be such a busy woman i think.
this coming thurs, going for tertiary fling partee.
fri- pris's birthday partee.
sat- prom nite for peicaians.
sun- am working.

oh my god.
am i able to rest?
tsk tsk.

sissy is in hospital.
she's is infected with something.
am not sure wad.
hope she get well soon.

ramdon post.
blank mind.
nites.

2006-11-20T07:13:00.000-08:00

i am so excited.
i juz booked my basic and all for my driving today.
man.
i am really excited.
i want to drive soon!
hahahahha.

but which mean to say.
it's gonna cost a bomb too.
tsk tsk.

2006-11-16T07:05:00.000-08:00

been one hella crazy nite.
never been so bad.
hoping there wouldnt be a third.
coz last nite was the second.
i think twice of that was enuff.
nonetheless,
we had fun.
hurr.
as always.
but i juz din like how the way i was la.

anyway.
next tuesday.
i am on a date.
if i dun turn up for the date.
i am gonna get killed by my partner.
my partner is no stanger to you.
is none other than fazelah.
=)
tsk tsk.
she threatens me if i failed to keep the day free for her.
=X

so my comp is back with me.
thanks to daddy.
he got it fixed.
how sweet.
but still gotta like rebulid my music anc foto library.
damn.
how i hate that.
gotta got a new mouse.
and also..
to reinstall all the other programs.
as well as to find back my card reader.
and blah blah blah.
and becoz of the stupid mouse.
i got out of blogger without publishing my entry.
so...
i really need a mouse soon.

dang.
i think the medicine the doctor gave works.
she gave me slping pills.
i am feeling very sleepy now.
that is all for my entry today.
love ya peeps.
i will be back soon.
-wide grinnnn-

zZZzzzzZZZzzzzZZzzz....

2006-11-14T05:56:00.000-08:00

SALUT!
it's hello in french.
i am taking french for my extra subject.
it's pretty interesting.
hahahaha.
will teach you guys a couple of stuff some day.

isn't it contridicting when you were the one who brought someone to church,
but yet you backslided yourself.
i find that weird.
did it ever happened to me?
tsk.
have no idea.

was at cartel after school today.
managed to tok to xueling.
and she came up with a really stupid and silly joke.
as usual.
that is our xueling.

xl: ask me where am i?
we: okie. where are you?
xl: i am in your heart.

xl:ask me why am i tired?
we:why are you tired?
xl: coz i have been running in your brain.

den came silly brenda.
she came up with one lame one too.

bren: eh. press the button on my watch.
gen: *push the button*
bren: you light up my life.
gen* stunned*

mitch was another idiot.
she says....

mitch: is your dad a theif?
gen: errrr. why?
mitch: he must be coz he stole all the stars above to put them in ya eyes.

wau lau.
this is the crap i get at work.
madness lah...
but they are the people who get me working in cartel still.
thus..
i do love them.
=)

i am feeling something.
but it cant seem to get out of my mouth.
nor am i able to put them into words.
maybe i am not tired.
i stayed up to watch Lword on friday nite.
all the way to sat morning.
den i went out on sat afternoon for faz's dance production.
say i had to work at 730 on sunday, upon reaching home at 12 plus or 1 midnight on sat.
which i did watched Lword till 5am agn.
did full shift on sun.
almost died when i went home.
overslept for two mornings.
mon and tues.
boring entry rite.
tot so too.
Lword is nice.
think i am gonna catch it agn tonite.
cool.

2006-11-11T11:39:00.000-08:00

someone once mentioned to me.
wouldn't it be nice if there is always this guy behind you no matters wad happens?
i mean.
ask yourself and dun deny it.
everyone is selfish.
and i really mean everyone.
whatever the case,
it's just a tot.
never happens.

juz caught fazzie's dance production.
damn sexy.
all the moves makes you go gaga.
it makes you wanna take up salsa or like proper dancing.
the moves are really really gorgeous.
i swear.
there will be a day.
when i can afford the time and money,
i would take up dose sexy dancing class.
of coz not when i am old,
when my bones are brittle.
that would be total madness if i decide to take it then.
ha.

when you looked at it.
you would wished that you and your partner was doing that.
it was that that amazing.
shall we dance, someone, anyone?

fazzie was damn funny.
some of her dance required her to be like bouncy and cute.
and she brought it all out.
she was even SEXY dancing.
i am so proud of her.
oh my god babe!
you go girl.
do ya thing out there tomolo!

2006-10-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well youre the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed
Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.
And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.
I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.
And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.
I cant let go
No, I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you.
I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.
I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past

this song is by landon pigg. cant let go.
awesome song.
i liked the song.
but never knew the title till like today.
ha.
i am so happy.

alrite.
timetable's out.
say...
school ends the lastest at 7pm.
and the earliest to be in school, 8am.

monday-9am to 4pm
tuesday-8am to 7pm
wednesday-9am to 1pm
thurdays-8am to 4pm
fridays-9am to 1pm

reasons to love wednesdays and fridays more.
tsk tsk.
=)

there goes holidays.
hello back to school.
to early mornings.
and the squeezing of buses in the morning.
dang.
time to get myself a lappy.
my breaks are like 2 hours straight.
cant expect me to be like studying or rot away to wait time to pass rite?
would call people up to have lunch with me.
ha.

juz discovered that joel lim yi ming is in TP too.
should call him up.
thanks to clinton who told me.
never knew joel was in TP.
=))
been awhile since i last saw him.
been awhile since i last toked to all of them.
besides ben. i think none of them really toks to me anymore.
sad.
wonders if everything we did in the past still matters anymore.
well,
i do miss them.
but it's just that i dun want to be there for the wrong reasons.

it's juz like when you harp on certain things.
nothing changes and everything remains.
even as we try to make an effort to make it happened.
it never did happened even as we tried.
i can tell myself i did try, in futile.
but i still did try to do something about it.
but sometimes,
it's juz not about trying.
trying isnt the answer to a solution.
but the only comfort of telling yourself that,
at least you did try.
tsk.
one of those emo days.

alrite.
on a lighter note.
genevieve has her wants again.
this time.
i wan a bigger crumpler bag.
i need a lappy. - hoping for a IT fair in school.
i need to save up too-for the rainy days.
get the comp fixed.-hell knows what's wrong with it.
clear up my waredore-a MAJOR one
meetings-i owe a lot of people meetings! =X
mugging-no longer play a fool.

yea.
this should be it.
alrite.
yet another long entry.
dat's all folks.

2006-10-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

thoughts are running in my head.
so much things that happened.
why are people still so fake towards one another after so much we have been through?
hidden agenda.
so scary.
the mask covering the dark side of one.
so unpredictable.

i find it so hard to noe wad one is thinking anymore.
misunderstandings and miscommunications.
it's juz so hard to predict anymore.
i think i rather steer clear.
then to step a leg into it.
i can give my opnion.
that's all i have gotta do.
beware people..

2006-10-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

all thanks to sissy.
becoz she borrowed a lappy.
i am able to blog tonight and to present some of the oldest picture ever online.
so here goes.
from the earliest.

it was the presentation day.
but no one say i cant be wacky.
=P

my katong laksa boy.
he's gonna bring me there one day.
ahahahaha..

ouh. norman GAY.
we insisited on the picture.

rafael. next to him,
i am less wacky.

katong boy, kejin.
has no idea he has been taken advantage of.
=X

christina,myself,jill

slightly crazy shot.

the girls.

she is so pettie can.

my girlfriends.

4 girls!

all the girls in class.

there we are getting ready for lee sheng jie's concert.
=)

den it was the day we are about to send junda off for army.
shrugs.
i hate army.

have some lastest clubbing pics.
this holiday.
surprisingly.
we all din club much.
i guess we din really like the crowd.
or maybe we shud get out of phuture soon.
like maybe to butter or to MOS.
MAYBE.

i have with me, mabel chan!

miss mok!
we missed gossiping with her at work!
=)

sum xueling. back with us.
she's really retarded.

there you have it.
pictures.
school's starting.
totally hate it.

2006-10-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

i am sorry this place is already filled with dust.
perhaps nobody even reads it anymore.
coz i hardly blog.
my comp is down.
damn down.
have no idea wad is wrong with it anymore.
and since it's the holidays now.
i have been heading for work a lot these days.
it's the only time to choing for work and back to school soon after alrite.
results are fine.
getting on to the next sem.
but not sure how long can i do it man.
i am really worried.
engineering is really tougher than i thought it would be.
man!

met up with fazzie today.
total damaged of the day?
55 dollars.
it's pretty worth it.
a belt. a dress and a top.
both of us agreed on this.
=)

the holidays?
actually.
really nth happening.
i think normal school days are more happening.
contridicting rite?

i have mixed feelings towards myself.
re-evaulated myself all over again.
i think it's time we all shud noe oursleves again.
it's the time whereby some things changed and how you view them already.
faz and myself agreed that we are different from sec school days.
not in terms of our friendship.
but things that we see now. they are pretty much different from how we used to see it.
we are over certain kind of things.
and learnt to let go of the things where we used to held on to.
that once was dearest to us.
perhaps we all think that everyone has the rite to have their own decisions to make.
and it's okie fine to respect them.
it's hard to accept certain stuff.
but we all come to terms with it.
maybe i can say that we all grew up.
in a way.
we shud be glad.
i even realised that.
friendship between me and faz.
there's not appologies.
miscommunications do happened.
and everything would be fine once we cleared it.
we noe each other too well and long enuff to be bearing grudges.
i am only glad that she is frank and open to me.
least we wun be hiding our true feelings towards each other.
i think that is the biggest part of our friendship.
nothing more.

alrite.
with me signing off this time.
maybe it would be a thousand year later till you see another entry.
love ya peeps.

2006-08-20T09:47:00.000-07:00

orite orite.
this week has been dead.
i haven been blogging.
dun cha wanna noe wad is going on arnd here?
oh well.

someone asked me that day if i wanna to password my blog.
i answered no.
coz.
i guessed a blog is for me to voice my views to people whom i want to,
or in any case. anyone whom i dun want to as well.
so why shud i shut anyone out of my blog?
the most i would do is to shut my tagboard down.
which currently.
i dun see a need to.

oh well.
random shots at post.

conn loves me!

jo loves conn!
=)

the ever most crazy woman.

nat.me.christina

last day of 1.1! =)

and the last thing you need to see.
the creator of this blog!

ME!

2006-08-17T03:21:00.000-07:00

here i am.
in school's convection hall.
awaiting for lee sheng jie concert to start.
ha ha.
yea.
lee sheng jie's campus concert.
it's okie larh.
no school for me tomolo for me anyway.

it's the weekends again.
shrugs.
i am not working this weekend.
aint it all good.
study week is this coming week.
it's okie.
everything will be over soon.

WEEKENDS.
any dates?
alrite.
concert starting soon.
senseless entry.

2006-08-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

lemme see what did i exactly do for the weekends.
i din sleep the entire nite on thursday.
stayed up to do my presentation till 6am in the morning.
went to school.
did my presentations.
finally it's over.
i am grateful!
YAY!

okie.
so soon after.
i went home for a 3hrs nap.
packed my bag and go for TPSU camp.
i feel like a superwoman.
dun need sleep at all.
and so.
after lights out.
i was totally gone at the camp.
had to leave early.
becoz sat was sissy's 21st bday.
pictures later.
haven upload larh.
=))

after sissy's bday.
it was angela's.
everyone that was there.
was almost who was going to work the very next morning.
aisha, wingman, mick, marcus and myself.
that day.
we saw zombies.
i swear we were so tired.
but somehow,
wingman and myself got hyper for awhile.
we survived!
omg!

when i came home from work.
i bath and i slept.
all the way.
i was in the coma mode.
heh.

i am glad you somehow noe the answer.
but we both noe,
what is the situation like.
we cant rush into things.
and we cant juz sit around and wait.
whatever it may be.
i juz need to noe.

2006-08-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

why is every drama series telling people to treasure what they have and juz go for wad they want.
aiya.
this is so irritating rite?
so many shows i watch.
or even on the radio.
people say.
i hate it when it happens.

i have this sudden crave for cam whoring.
hahaha.
and so.
i took out my fone and starting snapping pictures.
i took plenty.
and i am pretty happy with those shots.
but it cant beat the picture i had with jill and christina in the lab.
it's damn funny.
i am going to post it up here.

from left to rite.
jilly, christina and myself.
can you see where's christina's hand?
she's trying to grab my boobs!!!
ARGH!!!!

kidding.
the angle is playing a trick.
but it's damn funny.
coz it wasn't intentional.
oh well.
funny stuffs that happens in school.

time check: 1.39am
i am still up doing my presentation slides for toms.
it's a big day!
wooosh..
am going to have many pictures toms!
it's all good.
formal dressing.
once in awhile.
so i am okie with it.
=))

everyone from 30 is online.
doing work.
amazing.
everyone will have eye bags toms!
it's okie.
we look the same.
ha ha.

it's when the nite falls.
the silent from the surrounds.
emotions slowly creeps in.
it takes time to heal.
it's not juz about taking it away so easily.
i am trying.
but for now,
i still miss you so.

2006-08-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

alrite..
i am on a happier note rite now.
i tot it thru.
i noe what i am going to do.
everything is going to be okie now!

okie okie.
i noe that my recent posts are like damn emo and boring.
but i promise that there are many other interesting things going to happen here soon.

dear phoony has fixed my comp!
thank you so much.
have yet to get it back.
but it's okie.
i am glad it's done.
so and..
when cpu is back home,
i ensure you..
pictures and funny funny details!

=)

regarding lappy?
well.
i supposed if i want something.
i need save up for it.
maybe buy it and pay in installment on my own.
it's all good.
that's wad happen when you grow older.
when you want something..
you earn it yourself.
it's okie larh.
at least,
i would treasure it more.
coz it's hard earned money! =)

payday oh payday.
when are you coming?
everyone that hangs out with me.
pls remind me not to spend okie?
heh.
i am supposed to save up.
wheeeee...

i am away for camp this weekend okie?
on friday and sat.
for TPSU camp!
a camp.
after so long!
phwee....
boy.
aint i glad?
i am actually.
ha.

den sat is so gonna be a busy day.
i am going to dismissed myself earlier from camp.
to go for sissy's 21st.
den for angela's 21st.
den sunday morning?
8am work for me..!

whoosh!

did i also mention that i was late for an hour for work today?
now wh0 can beat me?
ha.
cant help it.
on nite shift till 1 the previous nite!

-grins-

2006-08-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

sometimes,
i wanna share my sorrows with you.
but i noe you are burden with other things.
and it's difficult for me to get it across to you.
coz i juz dunno how to...
i juz want you to noe.
you are still the one i will turn and cry to.
you are still the one that is closest to my heart.
nothing change.
and it never will.

2006-08-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

i am confused.
am i giving you the wrong signs?
or are you giving me the wrong signs?
one moment, you are doing this.
the next moment.
you are doing another.
wad is it that you want?
i am like driving round and round in circles.
anytime soon.
i am going insane.
why are the actions and words dun telly.
why is it that it feels so different this time.
you are the reason why i believed in love.
you are the answer from prayer up above.
i am in a delimma.
you made me feel so much.
why is that you are the one.
why is that the truth about you hurts.
i am in no position to say anything.
or to feel anything.
i aint.
but i need to.
i'll sit around and wait.
coz i am in this foolish game.
i am going to continue to be in this foolish.
sometimes.
it's good to be stupid.

you guys noe sometime,
i am quite a stubborn cow.
i am quite decided on this.
i am wondering if anyone can tok me out of this.
i doubt tat.
for people who are worried and concerned.
i am alrite.
maybe i juz need more time.
to get through this.

i can relate myself to this song.
[chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
Have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away
You'd give anything, oh
To make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
Oh
Have you ever found the one
You dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait
For the day when they will care
[chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody
(So much)
So much
(Makes you cry)
Makes you wanna break down and cry
(Somethin' so bad)
So, so bad
(Sleep at night)
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't
(Come out right)
Oh, have you ever
Have you ever, ever, ever
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cause baby, I can't sleep
[chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you (have you, have you ever needed) ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever, ever, ever
Oh, have you ever

2006-08-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

i juz came across a friend's blog.
should say that i think that...
he has plenty of thoughts that would make you think after you read it.
coz it has the effect on me.
he is like...
someone that i can relate everything to.
in a way..
wad he mentioned was wad i am going thru recently.
toking about trust.
about trying.
about noeing what you really want.
be bold and face music.

i might want to go for the try part.
coz if i never try.
i will never noe.
even if it's a hard path that i am taking.
but i am happy now.
coz i noe wad is it that i want.
everything is actually pretty much obvious.
it's more than juz wad it is intially.
i am glad it progessed.
and i was actually in a delimma to even continue to try.
but now,
i am willing to give it a shot.

at least,
at the end of the day.
i noe wad the ultimate results would be.

and i believed.
i might just happened.
coz i believed.
believed in trying. it's better than trying to believe.

i am glad for today.
thanks raf for hearing me out. (wonders if he ever read this)
but yea.
thanks dude.

i am over the moon when you called.
even as i dun sound like i am.
you will noe i am if you think like i do.

i might be foolish in doing it.
and best of all,
everyone might think that i am a fool.
but i dun want to live in regret.
that's my stand.
how much regrets can you take in ya life?
even as i am on standby, i think i am ever ready.
time= priceless.

i dun care wad the future brings.
but i noe you are here with me now!